10 Signs Your Parent Might Need a Nursing Home
Being “sent to a nursing home” is a phrase that can stir up fear, guilt, or sadness for both aging parents and their adult children, but as health and cognitive needs grow more complex, home may no longer be the safest or most supportive environment. If you’re starting to worry about your parent’s well-being or wondering whether it's time for more help, this article can help you figure out what some of the signs are and answer some frequently asked questions surrounding nursing homes.
Signs your parent needs a nursing home
Taking care of an elderly parent can sometimes mean making the difficult decision when your services or capabilities are simply not enough to address your parent’s needs. There are some important signs to keep in mind and look out for when taking care of a parent and making sure you look for these signs can ensure your parent stays safe and gets the appropriate level of care. Here are 10 signs that it might be time for a nursing home:
1. Frequent falls or injuries
If your parent is falling often, bumping into furniture, or showing unexplained bruises, it may be a sign they’re no longer safe living alone. Falls are one of the leading causes of injury in older adults and can quickly lead to hospitalization or long-term decline.
2. Worsening memory loss or confusion
Forgetfulness that disrupts daily life—like missing meals, taking the wrong medications, or getting lost in familiar places—can signal advancing dementia. If reminders, supervision, or home care aren’t enough, memory care in a nursing facility may be safer.
3. Difficulty managing medications
Missing doses, mixing up pills, or forgetting to take essential medications can have serious health consequences. Nursing homes provide medication management to ensure prescriptions are taken correctly and on time.
4. Neglecting personal hygiene
If your parent stops bathing, wearing clean clothes, brushing their teeth, or managing incontinence, it could be due to cognitive issues, physical limitations, or depression. Nursing homes offer assistance with daily hygiene in a respectful, dignified way.
5. Poor nutrition or weight loss
Spoiled food in the fridge, unopened groceries, or noticeable weight loss are red flags. A nursing home can ensure regular meals, proper nutrition, and monitoring for signs of dehydration or malnourishment.
6. Worsening chronic health conditions
Parents with diabetes, heart disease, or other chronic illnesses may need daily monitoring and skilled nursing care. If their condition is getting worse or they’re frequently hospitalized, a nursing home may be better equipped to manage their health.
7. Isolation or withdrawal
Loneliness can lead to depression and cognitive decline. If your parent no longer sees friends, avoids phone calls, or loses interest in activities they once enjoyed, the social support of a nursing facility could help improve their quality of life.
8. Caregiver burnout
If family members or hired caregivers are overwhelmed, exhausted, or unable to provide consistent help, it's a sign that the level of care needed may be too much for home. A nursing home can offer 24/7 professional care and give families peace of mind.
9. Unsafe living conditions
Cluttered walkways, broken appliances, signs of hoarding, or spoiled food can all point to a home environment that’s become unsafe. If your parent can’t maintain their home or make safe decisions, a facility may be necessary.
10. Wandering or unsafe behavior
If your parent starts accidentally leaving the stove on, leaving doors open and unlocked, wanders outside at night, or becomes aggressive or disoriented, it’s generally no longer safe for them to live alone. These behaviors are often associated with dementia and usually require a secure, supervised setting like memory care.
Managing anxiety around putting a parent into a nursing home
Putting a parent in a nursing home is an emotionally difficult decision a caregiver may eventually face. To some, it can feel like a betrayal, even when you know it’s necessary for their safety, and even if your parent isn’t resisting the idea. If your parent can no longer live safely on their own due to memory loss, mobility issues, or declining health, you may be left with no choice. It’s important to remind yourself that the decision comes from love, not abandonment. Prioritizing their health and safety doesn’t mean you’re giving up on them. it often means you’re stepping up to make the hard choices they can’t. Give yourself permission to feel conflicted, and seek support from others who understand how painful, but sometimes necessary, this step can be.
If you’re still feeling worried, consider making the transition as easy as possible. Here's a brief nursing home admission checklist to consider before you put your parent in one:
- Involve your parent in the decision as much as possible: Even small choices, like selecting their room or personalizing their space, can help them feel more in control.
- Visit the nursing home together before moving: Familiarizing your parent with the new environment and meeting staff can reduce fear and uncertainty.
- Bring familiar items from home: Favorite photos, blankets, or belongings create a comforting atmosphere and a sense of continuity.
- Maintain routines: Try to keep mealtimes, hobbies, or daily rituals consistent to provide stability.
- Stay involved and visit regularly: Figuring out how often to visit your parent in the nursing home before they’re admitted can help you commit to regular visits and communicate your capacity. If you’re unable to visit frequently due to distance, it can sometimes be helpful to set these expectations upfront. Consider spending extra time with them near the beginning months if you have the ability. Your ongoing presence reassures your parent that they are not alone and helps build trust with caregivers.
- Communicate openly and listen: Validate your parent’s feelings and fears without dismissing them, which can help ease anxiety.
- Connect with staff: Develop a good relationship with nursing home staff to advocate effectively for your parent’s needs.
- Encourage social activities: Participation in group events or therapy can improve mood and adjustment.
- Take care of yourself: Managing your own stress ensures you can provide better support and make clearer decisions.
- Seek support: Consider counseling or caregiver support groups to share experiences and learn coping strategies.
Can a doctor force you into a nursing home? Can they force a dementia patient refusing to go into a care home?
In most cases, a doctor cannot force someone into a nursing home. Adults with the capacity to make their own decisions have the right to choose where they live—even if their choices seem risky. However, if a person is deemed medically or cognitively unable to care for themselves and is putting themselves (or others) at serious risk, a doctor may recommend nursing home care. In rare situations, a court-appointed guardian or conservator may be given legal authority to make that decision on their behalf. But generally, moving into a nursing home is a voluntary decision, ideally made with input from family, doctors, and care teams.
If the person lacks the capacity to make informed decisions, and there’s no existing legal authority like a power of attorney or legal guardian, the family may need to go to court to obtain guardianship. Once guardianship is in place, decisions about long-term care can legally be made on their behalf. In urgent situations, social workers or Adult Protective Services may get involved if the person’s safety is at risk. While no one wants to go against a loved one’s wishes, sometimes professional care becomes necessary for their health, safety, and dignity.
Can social services force someone into a nursing home?
Social services generally cannot force someone into a nursing home unless there is evidence of severe neglect, abuse, or incapacity. If an elderly person is living in unsafe conditions—like forgetting to eat, wandering into danger, or unable to manage medications—Adult Protective Services (APS) may investigate. If they determine the person cannot live safely on their own and refuses help, the case may go to court, where a judge can assign a guardian who could approve nursing home placement. But these cases are exceptional and involve legal oversight. Most of the time, social workers aim to help seniors stay independent for as long as safely possible.
When is it time to move from assisted living to memory care?
It may be time to move a loved one from assisted living to memory care when cognitive decline begins to interfere with daily safety and functioning. Signs include:
- Wandering, getting lost, or leaving the facility unsafely
- Aggression, confusion, or behavior changes that staff can’t manage
- Increased need for supervision with medications, hygiene, or eating
- Inability to recognize familiar faces or places
- Requiring a secure environment to prevent harm
Memory care units are designed to provide structured, 24/7 support in a safe, calm setting for those with Alzheimer’s or other types of dementia. However, there are many times where elderly people resist being placed into a nursing home (or in some cases flat out refuse). If assisted living staff start saying they can no longer meet your parent’s needs, that’s often the clearest sign it’s time for a higher level of care.
Whether it’s time for your parents to head to a nursing home or they’re not ready – one thing that is helpful either way is to start planning for the end of life. Planning in advance ensures your loved one’s wishes are followed and everything is organized and easy to follow when the time comes. Ever Loved offers a free checklist you can use to record key information and make sure the end of life is planned for.
